Don't Squeeze the Sausage! 4/4/2013

Hui: have you ever squeezed a sausage?

Yu: duh

Hui: hahah

Hui: that's how my waist line feels right now

Yu: my grandmother used to make sausages

Hui: i feel like a squeeze sausage

Yu: hahaha! i just did the same to mine

Hui: i have tights on because my sides hurt

Hui: and it feels like it's cutting into me

Yu: hahahaha

Hui: i have one big roll on top and one big roll on the bottom

Hui: i couldn't even finish my lunch

Hui: hahaha

Yu: welcome to your 40s

Hui: F@#K!

Yu: hahahaha

Yu: i can't wait for you to get hot flashes

Hui: SHUT UP!!!

On Italian Men...

Hui: this girl at my work just said, "Italian men have the lowest incident of prostate cancer because of the amount of tomatoes they consume (which apparently is a good antioxidant)"

Hui: the quiet Indian nerd sitting next to her chimed in and asked, "where do they stand on STD's?" hahahaha!!!

Hui: Gotta love the dorky Indians

Yu: hahahaa

Little Gems Say A Lot...

...About Dating

Hui: so you ready for some white chocolate love tonight

Yu: i'm getting tired of going out every night

Hui: you're old

Yu: duh

Hui: lol...so you ready???

Yu: have to confirm with him

Hui: for that 10 1/2 shoe sizer?

Yu: i think it's gonna be more of a friendly date than date-date

but if hes super hot

all bets are off

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...About Being In Love

Yu: i have a habit of grabbing the guy's thingy in the middle of the night

  

and holding on to it like a rabbit foot

  

hahaha

Hui: ew

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...About Breaking Up (with a Doctor)

Yu: it should just be about enjoying each other right now

Hui: and i'm not

plus the whole lulu thing is an issue too

Yu: OH

Hui: we're a package deal

Yu: i just thought of something

before you decide to break up with him

Hui: yes

Yu: get me a prescription...hahaha

Hui: i need him to refill my pills first

hahaha

Yu: hahahaha

Try Not to Squirt

Hui: i'm back

Yu: howd it go

Hui: the mamo was nothing compared to the sonogram of my uterus

Yu: why

Hui: i thought i was going to go crazy

Hui: i had to drink 4 glasses of water before the appt

Yu: and?

Hui: i won't know until i hear from my Dr. so i guess in a week or 2

Hui: ugh

Yu: why wld you be going crazy from water

Hui: because my bladder was sooo full

Yu: haha

Hui: and she was pressing it with the probe

Hui: have you ever had that test? to have a full bladder and someone is pressing on it for 10 mins!

Yu: no

Hui: that's the worst

Yu: i doubt it. i bet the colonoscopy will be worse

Hui: no doubt. 

Hui: you are asleep for that

Hui: you won't even feel that

Yu: yeah, except you can't eat for a whole day and drink this liquid that makes you poop all day

Hui: nice

Hui: still can't be worse than this

Hui: omg...thankfully that's over

Hui: it was torturous

Yu: good thing you didn't squirt

Hui: i was trying not to

Hui: because it wouldn't have been a squirt...it would have been a GUSH! She would have thought she was just at Niagra Falls with all the water I was holding in my bladder

Yu: lol

NYers and Earthquakes 8/23/2011

Hui: we just had an earthquake

Yu: in NYC?

Yu: wtf

Hui: yup

Hui: my heart is racing

Hui: we are on the 40th floor

Yu: dang

Yu: how big

Hui: i don't know

Hui: i thought i was feeling faint

Hui: but then i heard other people say they felt the floor move

Hui: so freaky

Yu: kinda freaky that it's in NY

Hui: supposedly the earthquake happened in Wash DC

Hui: we were feeling the aftershock

Hui: people are freaking out here because most people have never felt an earthquake before

Yu: amateurs

Yeah...We Love Gay Men

Yu: i can't believe tho that rachel girl is still on…who thinks that show is entertaining?
Yu: she and her whole family are so boring
Hui: who?
Yu: the stylist girl
Hui: oh
Hui: Rachel Zoe
Hui: yeah
Hui: she's annoying!!
Yu: gawd
Hui: i can't stand the way she talks
Hui: and she goes about clothing like she is curing cancer
Yu: i don't know how she made a baby, she hardly eats and even when she was preggers all she did is drink coffee
Hui: and i hate the words she uses...like bananas
Hui: yeah
Yu: it's like MAJOR
Hui: have to hand it to them...they have a cute ass baby
Yu: like everything she does is the most important thing
Yu: and her husband is GAY
Hui: Yeah
Hui: OH TOTALLY
Hui: kid doesn't look like him
Yu: hahahahaha
Hui: i'm glad her assistant brad got his own show
Yu: but i like the gay dude brad
Hui: she's a bitch
Yu: and his partner gary
Hui: we are so in synch
Yu: haha
Hui: i just said that
Yu: so did you see the finale last season
Hui: no
Yu: when gary surprised brad OMG
Hui: never watch that show
Yu: i cried
Hui: hahahaha
Hui: you are a dork
Yu: gary was the writer on will and grace/family guy/others
Hui: wow
Hui: he must be smart
Yu: VERY
Yu: and probably the nicestt guy
Yu: i love gay men
Hui: i'll have to check him out
Hui: and yeah...gay men are pretty awesome
Yu: http://www.wetpaint.com/network/video/watch-its-a-brad-brad-world-season-finale-with-les-miserables-flash-mob-video
Hui: OMG!!! That was F'n AMAZING!!!!
Hui: If I were a fan of the show...I'd be in tears too
Yu: actually, they cut off gary's speech
Hui: damn
Hui: i know
Yu: it was a great speech about how they met, and then brad did his speech
Yu: they're both funny and sweet
Hui: awww
Hui: his partner is older
Yu: i think it was their 10th anniv
Hui: wow
Hui: gay men have the best life
Yu: they moved in together after a week
Hui: they are always doing cool things
Yu: and for all those years brad was doing little jobs, gary was supporting him
Yu: so now brad is doing well
Hui: so cool
Yu: i know
Yu: deep down inside i think i'm a gay guy
Yu: it's true
Hui: yup
Hui: deep down inside...i know i am a gay guy
Hui: i love men
Hui: haha

How YU&HUI came to be

Yu: hey, guess what?

Hui: what?

Yu: i had an epiphany in the shower about us

Hui: spill it

Yu: we should write a blog reviewing the housewives

Yu: it will be called Yu+HUI

Hui: i think someone already does that

Yu: like siskel and ebert

Hui: we should just write a blog about random BS

Hui: and why is Yu before Hui

Yu: i'm thinking more in the format of our IM conversations

Hui: this is the sort of shit that is funny

Yu: because i thought of it

Hui: we are f@#ken hilarious

Hui: if i say so myself

Yu: i have another tagline idea

Hui: spill it

Yu: straight-jacket talk from 2 women who should be on prozac

Hui: hahahahaha

Yu: or

Yu: conversations from a padded cell

Hui: hahahahaha

Hui: hey...at least it sounds like this little project has opened up your creative juices

Hui: you were in a rut

Hui: check you out now

Yu: we could have ads for lithium, mental institutions

Hui: and should share our humor with the world

Hui: the world demands this

Hui: we are funnier together than margaret cho

Yu: lol

Hui: so yeah...i'm on board

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Yu&Hui are bff's of over 10 years who might have married each other if they were both gay. Yu lives in San Francisco, while Hui moved to NYC 4 years ago, which only made their IM conversations more compelling and necessary. Hui has proposed several times, Yu is still holding out for that Cartier/Bulgari ring.